i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
