I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
