I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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