cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i dont even know how to be here
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
