Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
