am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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