Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
