I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
