She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
