I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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