i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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