i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
