And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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