it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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