why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
