What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize