dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
