who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
