I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
