im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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