its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
