what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
