At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
