Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize