I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
