i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize