Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i think my mom watched the whole time
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm too high and old for this...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
