What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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