I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
