hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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