I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Small penises have feelings too.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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