know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
