i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
