I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
