so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize