my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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