You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
