I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
