Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
