coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Do vagina's smell?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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