Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
