I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
