i think my mom watched the whole time
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
