I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize