He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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