____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
