That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize