party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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