I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
