Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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