I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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