If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
