We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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