in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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