i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
