I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
