he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
