dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
