Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
