They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
