are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
