I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
