just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
